i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize