there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
