piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
