You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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