They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
