He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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