did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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