very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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