I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My liver just had a heart attack.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
