I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
