Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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