This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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