why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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