ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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