found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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