Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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