How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
