ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize