hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
