Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
