The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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