I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
