You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
