So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
