am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
