My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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