I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
