Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize