No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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