One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
