can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
