I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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