I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
