Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
