Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
