You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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