Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
handjob tips. give me some.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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