Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
