garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
