i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
