they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
