i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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