I think scott just propositioned me for sex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
