Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
