singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just pee around me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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