Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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