No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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