What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
