also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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