..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
