i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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