if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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