Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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