I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think your dad took our porno
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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