I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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