Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The power of my boobs compel you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
