I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
