Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize