In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
