I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
