just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think i got beer on your cat.
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