I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dick very happy bro
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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