I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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