I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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