Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
