please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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