Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
