Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
