I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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