Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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