yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm getting married
To pizza
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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