pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
