You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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