Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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