She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
