The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
