I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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